life imitating art

Today, while picking up lunch, I saw a man whisper something in the ear of his lunch date. Her expression betrayed her displeasure at the comment.

She grabbed a full, tall, big glass of water and dumped all the water on the guys head and stormed out of the restaurant.

I thought that only happened in the movies or in commercials.

To add insult to injury, a big, redneck-looking guy feigned bewilderment as he held out his hands, palm up, and looked up to the ceiling, “Man… is it raining in here?” and then right to the poor guy, “Do you feel drops of rain in here?”

Everyone laughed and laughed, including the waitstaff.

I was feeling terrible for the guy, so I handed him a stack of my napkins.

In retrospect, it would have been a much more charitable act if I hadn’t said, “Here you go, Sport.”

The condescending “Sport”, “Chief”, “Handsome”, “Scooter”, or “Slick” is the easiest way to make a bad situation an order of magnitude worse.

Well, that’s what the guy gets for going out on Friday the 13th.