Scorpions!
Lori was telling a pretty scary story today about how a scorpion bit her husband in the face while he was sleeping! Her husband ran around the room half-asleep and screaming. When she lifted the pillow, she saw a large, black scorpion which she thought must have been a mother scorpion.

Now, I've seen documentaries on the Discovery Channel about mother scorpions carrying their babies on their backs. If Lori, indeed saw a mother scorpion, and there were no scorpion babies on its back....
Well, you couldn't pay me enough to get back into a bed with hundreds of baby scorpions.
Apparently Lori's house is infested with scorpions, snakes, and other creepy crawlies.
This was horrible enough to hear, but then she said something even worse to explain why there were so many bugs and things, "Well, our house is only a few years old, so the wood in the house is pretty new."
In retrospect, I really should have asked her for some clarification. I take what she said to imply that there is something about new wood that attracts scorpions... or maybe new wood is filled with scorpion eggs?
Either way, I'm going to insist that my parents hire an exterminator before I move into their new house.
And if that isn't appetizing enough for you:

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