Putting in time

Do you ever get that feeling like you have been neglecting your blog and don’t really feel in the mood (or have the time) to write in it, so you figure you’d just write something stupid and worthless so that you get that nagging “POST NEW ENTRY” voice out of your head if only for a day and then you start agonizing over whether or not you’re going to lose readers because you’ve let them down first by not posting for a long time and then by posting something stupid and worthless that is a huge letdown, sort of like Star Wars I-The Phantom Menace, except that unlike George Lucus you won’t make millions and millions and millions of dollars off of any old junk you throw up on the screen, but instead, you get nothing, nothing, nothing at all, regardless of the quality of the post that you put online except maybe, on those rare occasions when somebody is kind enough to post a comment, but is that really a gift, or is it feeding some sick obsession for seeking shallow feelings of acceptance, after all that’s really what this whole blog thing is about, the people that say they use blogs solely as a personal outlet or practice for writing are lying because really they could do those things with an offline journal and not have to post every last thing online, but then again, being exhibitionist allows for a different, unexplainable feeling of freedom to be yourself since really, even if you write under a pseudonym, anything you write comes from your brain and your heart, so it’s really you, and putting yourself on a public stage where dozens if not hundreds if not thousands if not everyone in the world can see your imperfections and eccentricities and fatso pictures from Boston takes guts, or maybe it’s that “performance” aspect of this experiment that’s actually a cowardly cover for the real you, like an actor that wears a mask, you could pretend that the person online is not really like the person offline and that you will say things, contrary to intution, in this public space that you would never say in your personal life for fear of embarrassment, like this is a performance with an audience to which you pander, and this is interesting because sometimes the online and offline worlds intersect in ways you don’t anticipate like when your boss reads your blog post where you complained about him (and it doesn’t have to be a him, mind you, that’s a sexist thing to say… it could easily be a her… bosses can be hers… not in my case, actually, my boss and my boss’s boss are both hims, which doesn’t mean it HAS to be that way, it’s just that way in my world), or when you accidentally release private information in a post that you didn’t realize was private and an offline friend gets very angry since, unlike you, they haven’t made this mental decision that their lives are going to be more public, which makes for an interesting question that a bachelor might face when he decides to get married to someone who doesn’t approve of blogging or for a guy who gets a new job that might not be so conducive to blogging, although, it’s too late once you’ve got something online even for a short while, it’s almost immediately stored away forever on Google and various other archival places, so in my estimation, once you’ve crossed the line and posted one post, you are in for a penny, in for a pound, and you have accepted this responsibility to post each and every single day of your life until death, and even then you have to have some after-death memorial online where you give your goodbyes post-mortum, which raises the question about whether putting that sort of stress on yourself could lead to an earlier death or if feeling guilty about not posting is healthy which means that contemplating blog-induced deaths could be a self-fulfilling prophecy??

Well, if you DO feel that way, you should seek professional help.